A Movering Investigative Report: Teen Choice Awards Scandal!

Democracy. Citizenship. Participation. In an era when so many of our nation's youths have become disillusioned with politics, we depend all the more on certain national traditions to keep their interest alive and show them, on a deeply personal level, what it means to be an American. Do you remember your first time? The first time you weighed your choices, cast your ballot, and realized that you--a mere teenager!--could hold the fate of someone's career in your sweaty hand?

I believe, as I am sure we all do, in the importance of the Teen Choice Awards to our functioning democracy, which is why I am shocked and saddened to announce that these awards are deeply--perhaps irrevocably--corrupted.

The voting process appears on the surface to be in order. Before gaining access to a ballot, potential teen voters must pass a rigorous birthday test to ensure their eligibility. Additionally, they are asked for their email addresses (likely so that they can later be sent information about American civic history and volunteer opportunities).

A page of small print follows, and most casual voters would likely skip this portion. I, however, being a student of American politics, perused it. What I found was startling.

6. A winner will be chosen from among the top four vote-grabbers in each category by a committee from Teenasaurus Rox, Bob Bain Productions and FOX representatives.

I am all for alternate voting systems, but this this is nothing short of an poorly disguised junta! There are only five nominees in each category, which means that the function of this supposed "democratic voting system" is simply to eliminate the worst of the nominees--the Lee Mercers of the tween set, if you will. This election, an experience that serves as the foundation of most young peoples' civic education, is nothing more than a sham.

I will not pretend to know who is behind this rape of democracy. Is it the Fox network, uncharacteristically straying from its fair and balanced coverage? Is it Teenasauras Rox, the production company responsible for the show's organization? Is it host Miley Cyrus, herself disillusioned after a difficult year? But I am sure about one thing: that if we do not speak out about this travesty, every one of us is equally culpable. Let us heed the words of Franklin Delano Roosevelt:

It is time to provide a smashing answer for those cynical men who say that a democracy cannot be honest, cannot be efficient.... We have in the darkest moments of our national trials retained our faith in our own ability to master our own destiny.

Bring back REAL teen choice, and let freedom ring on each and every American cell phone in the land. Add this button to your blog to show your support.